Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Monday, May 22, 2017

The Trip To Saudi Arabia Was A Circle Jerk

Donald Trump went to Saudi Arabia for medical treatment. He did not go there seeking peace. The first thing he did when he got there was sign an arms sale agreement. He's selling them 110 billion dollars worth of weaponry. Saudi Arabia is not expected to use those weapons for peace.

So what was this really about? It was about ED. Donald has ED. That's why the Mrs. is really staying in New York.

Donald's ED is so bad that he was willing to do anything to correct it. Viagra didn't work for him.

Saudi Arabia has an actual Orgasmatron. Yes, the Orgasmatron that was first seen in Sleeper is now a reality. Saudi perfected it and that's why Donald really went there. They were willing to treat his ED in exchange for the U.S. selling them 110 billion dollars worth of weaponry. Talk about "bang for the buck".

Holy Moly!

Sunday, May 21, 2017

What Radical Islamic Terrorism? Who Said That?

Tough guy Trump is over in Saudi Arabia and he just finished selling them over 110 billion dollars worth of weaponry which includes some weapons we didn't want them to have.

Oh yeah, he bowed while the king gave him a medal and danced with a sword in line with the Saudi Royal Family.

Wow! I keep hearing Aretha Franklin singing, "Mr.Bigstuff, who do u think u are?" What happened to all the tough talk Donny?

I understand you're not going to use your favorite term "radical Islamic terrorism" when you address the Arab leaders today. Your minions are on the Sunday news shows explaining why you are not going to use that language.

What a world class hypocrite. What a bloviating ignoramus. You are a lying toad.

Holy Moly!

Friday, May 19, 2017

Trump Checks Out New Winter White House

Trump has left the country to visit Saudi Arabia, Israel and the Vatican. Before leaving he made a side trip to what is expected to be his new Winter White House.

Meanwhile renovations are progressing on the White House in Washington, DC.

Holy Moly!

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Is It A Turd?

The Republicans are like a group of children walking along the sidewalk and coming upon a large turd. One says, "It looks like a turd." Another bends down and smells it and says. "It smells like a turd." Another reaches down and picks it up and says, "It feels like a turd." Finally one snatches it out of the other one's hand and eats it and says, "It tastes like a turd." Then they all stand around and try to decide if it really was a turd after all.

Holy Moly!

Monday, May 15, 2017

Trump Pitches A Skit To SNL

Trump: Hey I have a great idea for a skit.

SNL: Take your best shot.

Trump: I fire U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara who is investigating corruption in NYC and looking into crimes committed by the Russians renting space at Trump Tower.

Trump: Then I fire Sally Yates, the Acting Director of the Justice Department after she tells me about Flynn's misdeeds concerning Russia.

Trump: Then I fire FBI Director James Comey because he's conducting investigations into Russian interference with our elections.

SNL: There's nothing funny about any of that.

Trump: Wait for the punch line. The day after I fire Comey, I invite Sergey Kislyak the Russian Ambassador (a known Russian spy and spy recruiter),  and the Russian Foreign Minister, Sergei Lavrov, to the White House at the request of Putin.

SNL: Not funny.

Trump: Wait, wait. I don't allow the American Press to attend the meeting.

SNL: You know we do political satire and it has to be funny right?

Trump: Yeah, yeah. Here's the punch line. Here's the joke.

SNL: Hmm.

Trump: Here it comes - During the meeting I share highly classified security information with the Russians.

SNL: Ah. Not funny!

Trump: What? This is bigly funny. This is great, really great comedy.

SNL: No it isn't.

Trump: What if we add "lock him up" chants from the audience?

SNL: Goodbye Mr. Trump. The security of our nation is no laughing matter.

Holy Moly!

Friday, May 12, 2017

Trump Is Certifiable - He Rocks In The Tree Tops, Tweet, Tweet, Tweet

Yes it's true. Trump is certifiable!

When Lester Holt interviewed Trump the other day, Trump said he had a "certified letter" proving that he is innocent of any wrongdoing during the elections.

Trump said he had one of the "most prestigious law firms in the country, uh tremendous, highly rated law firm" write a letter saying that he had "nothing to do with Russia".

Trump said he turned over the certified letter to Lindsey Graham.

Well, if that don't beat all! Trump and his minions are totally guilt free when it comes to Russia. It's better than a letter from your mom to your teacher. It's a CERTIFIED letter.

In a separate interview published in the Economist, Trump said he invented the phrase "prime the pump". Webster Dictionary reports that the phrase goes back to the early 19th century and was used when talking about government investment expenditures at least as far back as 1933.

What are we to conclude about that? Well, I for one, believe Trump has been lying about his age. He must be at least a few hundred years old, and that would account for his dementia.

Meanwhile the FBI raided the offices of Strategic Campaign Group, a Republican fundraising and campaign consulting firm in Maryland yesterday. They seized files and computers.

What's that about? The Spirit told me it was about money laundering and racketeering. You know, the kind of stuff that happens when a country like Russia wants to fund Republican campaigns.

Oh yeah, apparently Trump threatened Comey in a Tweet this morning. He said, "James Comey better hope that there are no ‘tapes’ of our conversations before he starts leaking to the press!”

Holy Moly!