Paul Petruccelli died today. He was 76 years old. He was born on 3/24/1946 in Miami, Florida.
Prior to my meeting Paul, who was an only child, his parents divorced. At an early age he was sent to Rome, Italy to spend some time with his uncle, who was a Catholic priest.
I met Paul during my last year of college at Adelphi Suffolk College in Oakdale, New York. He and I were in the same advanced Italian class. I hated him the moment he opened his mouth, we all did.
Most of us in the class were children of Italian immigrants. None of us knew a word of Italian and we were all worried that we would be exposed and unable to graduate because about the best any of us could say in Italian was, "I'm hungry."
Our professor was a little old Italian grandma who insisted on speaking Italian at all times. We would just smile.
On the first day of class, Paul came in a few minutes late and grandma asked him something in Italian - I presume it was, "Why are you late dear boy, are you hungry?"
Paul responded in fluent Italian and they had a conversation that lasted for most of that class. None of us knew what they were saying. It would not have surprised us to find out they had eloped after that class. So much for our hopes of passing on the "curve".
For my entire last semester, I dreaded seeing Paul walk into that class. I never spoke to him. None of us did. Our professor swooned at the sight of him. I'm not sure, but it's possible they were singing duets in class.
After graduation, it took months to find a job and when I did, it was a civil service job - a caseworker position at the Suffolk County Department of Social Services.
For the first 2 weeks I attended orientation with all the other new hires - about 10 or so. As luck would have it, Paul was in that same orientation group.
Paul and I would eat lunch together every day at a nearby McDonald's in Bay Shore, New York. By the end of orientation, I was having gastrointestinal problems.
We were close at DSS. A year later I left and began working for the New York State Department of Mental Hygiene. I had gone from the frying pan into the fire.
At DSS, I was an outspoken critic of the Department and its Administration. The NYSDMH was far bigger and far worse than the county DSS.
Paul carried on work I had started at DSS. I was active in forming the Caseworkers' Association of Suffolk County. Paul took that and ran with it. He expanded membership.
CASC was a client rights organization, not a union. It was all about providing services to poor people.
Paul eventually teamed up with Bob and Libby and Cliff and Chuck and they started Independent Study Group.
Together they launched a newsletter. The "Phoenix" was known for exposing county corruption.
ISG was hated by the County Executive, the County Republican Party Chairman, various county legislators and the Commissioner and other administrators at DSS.
Over time, Paul became known for his writing. Thankfully, it wasn't in Italian.
After a bit I was invited to join it and we became a force to be reckoned with in Suffolk County and within the NYSDMH.
In the early 70s, Paul and Libby and I all found ourselves enrolled in the MSW program at Stony Brook's School of Social Welfare. We did a joint thesis. The school used our thesis to get accredited.
We were responsible for major investigative hearings conducted by a special joint committee of the NYS Assembly and Senate.
We were in newspapers, on the radio and on TV. We were even responsible for Geraldo Rivera's 2nd award winning nationally televised special about corrupt NYS and Suffolk County release policies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N1lBQNCj6g
There are too many stories to cover in terms of Paul.
Paul had majored in journalism at an upstate college before transferring to Adelphi Suffolk College.
He was bass player for "The Albert", a rock/jazz band that even had an album or two released.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16INE5Oc1Js
I remember going to JFK with Paul to pick up his mom who was returning from Italy. This diminutive woman looked like she doubled in size from her trip back home.
When she got to the parking lot, she began to strip in the back seat of the car and unload tens of thousands of dollars' worth of Italian Lira. She had gone to Italy to settle the sale of the family home and brought home her inheritance on her person.
Paul also found Marty Feldman, a Suffolk County Legislator from Deer Park. We spent years preparing him as a candidate for Suffolk County Executive and even managed to secure his nomination despite the best efforts of the Democratic Party Leader to stop us.
Yeah, we were Democrats - very independent Democrats.
It's worth mentioning that Paul opened a gas station during the 70s with a friend of his during the oil crisis when we were all into rationing.
He also opened a recording studio with Lenny, another old friend of his. The recording studio ended in tragedy when the house it was housed in burned down and Lenny, who was living in it, died of smoke inhalation.
Paul was my best man at Kathy and I's wedding on 11/5/77.
Kathy and I left New York in 1980. Paul had been my partner for a decade. We stayed in touch all the time.
In the mid 80s, Bob and Paul and Frank and Carl and Bill and Don and my brother and myself started a software corporation in New Hampshire.
I went to his mother's wake and his 50th birthday party. His birthday party was organized by a host of people he had worked with over the years - worked with politically trying to bring about change in Suffolk County.
On July 17,1996, TWA Flight 800 left JFK Airport and shortly after takeoff it went down in the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Long Island.
Paul was so impressed by the work of those working to retrieve the bodies that he wrote "The Work Of Angels" and gave it to the families of those who died and those who retrieved their bodies.
http://www.venturemusicgroup.com/twa800/Angels_128.mp3
Every year Paul and his friend Neal helped set up the memorial for the families. Sadly, the last time he did this, he suffered a brain aneurism. His life changed.
Neal brought Paul to a local hospital and lied about being a relative so that Paul could get emergency surgery. When his condition stabilized, he was admitted to the hospital at Stony Brook University. After several weeks he was admitted to a rehab facility. Paul spent over a month in the rehab facility.
It was unclear whether or not Paul would ever be able to be discharged to return home. They talked about committing him to a psychiatric hospital in New York City.
Many of us worked to prevent that and make sure he was treated properly while in rehab. He was eventually discharged and returned home, but his life was never the same.
Prior to the aneurism, Paul retreated to his home. He never married. He lived the life of a recluse while posting on Huffington Post and other outlets. He wrote about politics and corruption.
He became a hoarder and took in several stray cats that he cared for. He did volunteer work for local animal shelters and was in a local wedding band. He wrote music and had a private recording studio in his living room, amid decades of clutter.
There were very few people Paul allowed into his home. I was one of them. I was also the one who could talk to him candidly about anything.
Before he was discharged from rehab, his only remaining family arranged for the debris in his home to be cleaned out.
I was part of the overall effort. I was both Paul's power of attorney and health power of attorney. I spent a lot of time getting the Neurologist at the rehab center to speak with Paul's family and tell them and me what drugs Paul was on and what his treatment and discharge plans were.
Walt, another close friend from his days at DSS was literally a one-man cleaning crew. He emptied the debris into two large 20 yard dumpsters and hurt himself in the process.
Frank was on hand and brought his grandson Nick with him to help in the effort. Paul's neighbors all also pitched in to help.
Sadly, when Paul came home, which was not what was expected, he could not process the loss of his "treasures". He alienated his family and friends.
Jerry and Wayne kept in touch.
Wayne, a former Suffolk County legislator from Marty's old district had been convicted and sent to prison in upstate New York. Paul and Jerry had worked to get Wayne pardoned and released. Wayne was seriously ill with cancer. He got to spend his last years with his family.
As I'm writing this I'm realizing there is so much to write about. I'm recalling things.
A few weeks ago, I was contacted by Bob. He told me Paul had been found wandering in Suffolk County and admitted to a dementia ward at a local hospital.
I found a newspaper article on line with a picture of Paul. I'm not going to post that picture here. The picture isn't of Paul it's of the broken down container that had housed his being.
I understand if you might think this language harsh. It's okay if you do. I know Paul would have both understood and approved of it. Paul and I talked at his mom's wake.
Paul died penniless. He died on a dementia ward from a "heart attack". He didn't know who he was or where he lived.
The facility was in the process of applying for legal guardianship so they could place him in a permanent placement at a dementia facility. Thankfully, Paul died before that happened.
Paul was a very intelligent man with a strong moral compass. He loved animals, he loved music.
I've spoken with several of our friends tonight. We all have incredible memories of Paul to share. With the exception of Bob, Paul had broken off contact with each of us.
I think it's fair to say we all regard Paul's death today as a mercy.
We have no idea if there will be a wake or a funeral. So, I'm writing this to mark his passing. If there's more to life after death, I expect Paul's dog Bunky will be there to greet him.
Life is hard and then you die.
Paul knew Billy Joel. If there is a wake, I hope someone plays this song at it. Paul would approve.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g
Holy Moly!
