The war between Donald Trump and the press is getting very ugly. According to Sean Spicer, 451 reporters were burned to a crisp in a pre-dawn raid conducted by the Fahrenheit Unit (FU). The FU is Trump's personal shock and awe brigade, an elite unit headed up by Stephen Bannon and Stephen Miller. Kellyanne Conway is the FU's agent on the ground.
Kellyanne is a cyborg. She was manufactured at the Simian Simulations (SS) laboratory in 2013. The SS is a very secretive, privately funded laboratory and spa in Roswell, New Mexico. The SS was founded in 1984. It is a non-partisan, for profit, corporation with a global clientele and out of this world technological expertise.
A consortium of reporters founded the Laconic Press Association (LPA) in 2010. The reporters who were concerned about sagging ratings, and loss of market share - a direct result of corporate budget cuts in 2008 and President Obama's No Drama (ND) policy which began as soon as he took office in 2009. The cursed ND policy left little for reporters to cover other than boring facts.
Donald Trump went to an SS retreat to be retrofitted in 2011. He emerged from that obsessed with Barack Obama's citizenship and started the Birther Movement (BM). Donald's fixation on Obama's birth certificate lasted almost 9 years. During that time he crisscrossed the country spawning BMs in every state. Every American was subjected to a Trump BM.
The American public had no appetite for the type of informative and sophisticated reporting required to explain things like the Affordable Care Act (ACA). Hell, just writing or saying ACA was a mouthful. The ACA became Obamacare.
Obamacare was no competition for a story that questioned Obama's citizenship. Was Barack Hussein Obama really a Muslim agent; a front man for a Radical Islamic Terrorism movement; a communist, socialist, funded by George Soros, trained by Saul Alinsky, and inspired by Reverend Jeremiah White?
The LPA loved Donald Trump and made sure he was covered on a daily basis in every media outlet and news forum. They provided him with so much free publicity and Donald, their creation, won the Republican presidential nomination in 2016.
Trump the candidate was an LPA delight. Ratings went through the roof. Subscriptions increased. The citizenry was entertained. It was all just harmless, good natured fun.
Nobody thought Donald Trump could actually win the election. Trump was regarded as both a spice and a condiment for a dish that no one could actually ingest - a dish that amused everyone who watched it being prepared and cooked.
When the election was over, the entire world was speechless. Even Trump did not expect to win. He regarded the election as a business promotion - he expected to make a profit from it. Trump was in deep do-do. His act required a villain - a shill.
Trump is a carnival performer. He is the lion tamer in a cage with defanged, declawed, tranquilized, aging, big, fat, arthritic cats. After the election he was alone in the cage - there was no one left for him to tame.
Trump had no choice but to turn on his maker, the LPA. It was an enlightened move. The LPA is his final, true opposition. It can't go away, because it must continue to chronicle Donald's antics, which include screaming FU whenever he puts his foot in his mouth, which he does throughout the day and in the early morning hours on Twitter.
When Trump screams FU, Kellyanne the cyborg is dispatched. The SS programmed Kellyanne to start speaking nonstop until any and all LPA opponents are laying on the floor bleeding from their ears. She eats up air time. She has inoculated herself in advance from any accountability by saying she uses alternative facts.
The other day, Conway the cyborg was dispatched once again to neutralize the members of the LPA. She offered up the Bowling Green Massacre (BGM) to justify Trump's Muslim ban. The BGM is an alternative fact. It's convenient - it's akin to Trump having a BM.
You've got to hand it to the SS. Their clients include everybody and everybody thinks they are the SS's only client. Among the SS's better known clients are the RNC, Vladimir Putin, most of the members of the House and Senate, the Supreme Court and every hedge fund manager and evangelist on the planet.